Hi all,
In case you missed it, Thursday night’s matchup of the Patriots vs. the Jets was a monument to terrible football,
“It was telling that the Patriots twice settled for a run on third-and-long and opted to kill the clock late in the game instead of trying for a field goal. That timidity said as much about the offense’s lack of firepower as it did about the confidence that Smith couldn’t beat them. This was Brady’s first game with a completion percentage under 50.0 since 2009.”
Julian Edelmen, the Pats’ leading receiver, set an NFL record for fewest yards (78) on 13+ receptions. We caught a glimpse of the future of a uniformly terrible AFC East, and it was beautiful. I look forward to a whole season jampacked with wonderful angry Brady gifs
Ryan: 133.05
Brad: 129.69
Chris: 129.42
This week’s FAAB Bonuses
($2) Nich: Highest score without winning matchup
($2) Evan: Highest scoring bench player, Marshawn Lynch
($2) Ryan: Score leader for the week.
($2) Gray: Weekly leaders in points scored against.
($2): Nich and Gray: Lowest in divisional standings
($3): Nich: Lowest overall seed of those trailing in divisions
Waivers run until Wednesday the 18th.
Standings
click for big
Matchups!
Barriger (121.11) over Galen (110.21)
Brian Cushing (23.00, with 2 sacks and 11 tackles, 4 for a loss) turned in a dominant performance, while Jamaal Charles (16.30) remains the focal point of the revamped Kansas City offense. But wiith Roddy White gimpy, Galen was forced to start Jerome Simpson (4.90) as his WR3. Poor performances by Drew Brees (12.88 with two picks) and Demaryius Thomas (5.20) added insult to injury.
Although we didn’t see seven touchdowns, for a second week in a row Peyton Manning (19.98) turned his matchup into a rout, dominating Eli and the Giants in the third Manning Bowl. Barriger has the youngest collection of wideouts in our league, and it payed off pretty well on Sunday: rookie Tavon Austin (17.65) and second year player TY Hilton (12.57) put up a solid 30 points between them, while Saints rookie Kenny Stills (1.00) didn’t do much besides draw a deep pass interference call. The 5th round rook remains an interesting sleeper candidate however, as his speed makes him a good fit for the situational deep threat role formerly reserved for Meachem and Henderson. Steven Jackson (6.80) managed to get Barriger a touchdown early before going out for the game with a thigh injury.
Brad (129.69) over Justin (101.86)
Brad’s week one stars Jared Cook (1.00) and Anquan Boldin (1.70) were surprisingly quiet this week. Thankfully LeSean McCoy (16.70) turned in another excellent performance as the centerpiece of Chip Kelly’s offense, racking up 167 total yards, and maintaining his current position as the league’s #1 RB. Pierre Garcon (20.30) added some quality garbage time numbers in Green Bay’s blowout victory over the Redskins at Lambeau.
On the other side, Justin’s squad had a relatively rough week, with running backs Ryan Matthews (6.60) and Frank Gore (3.00) totaling less than a hundred yards between them. Matt Ryan (22.96) and Jared Allen (15.50) were the only real standouts this week, with the latter adding 6 tackles to a JayCutlersack and a forced fumble.
Chris (129.42) over Gray (101.38)
Chris rolls to 2-0 on the back of another quality fantasy day for the Eagles offense: Mike Vick (33.22) threw for more than 400 yards in a last-minute loss to the Chargers, finding DeSean Jackson (25.30) for almost 200 of them and a touchdown. One wonders if this offense will continue producing at this level once an inevitable Vick’s rib injury thrusts Nick Foles into the starting job.
Gray was seriously let down by his quarterback this week, as Kap (5.78) turned over the ball four times in a brutal Seattle ass-whooping. A bad day by AJ Green (4.10) didn’t help things. Green managed only 6 catches on 14 targets. In his defense, he hasn’t had the best QB play lately– As one person put it, “Andy Dalton could overthrow a government”.
Ryan (133.05) over Nich (120.04)
What a week for Nich to face Ryan, as his score would have been enough to beat every other team in the division. Don’t feel too bad though, he started Vick Ballard (0.00) who is on IR, rather than Lamar Miller (13.50), who would have given him the victory. Meanwhile Calvin Johnson (23.60) continues to be the only reason that my QB is a viable fantasy starter.
For those of you who didn’t get to watch Packers-Redskins, it was an ugly blowout. The Redskins defense is just about the worst in the league currently– Aaron Rodgers (34.90), James Jones, Randall Cobb and James Starks all posted career-highs on Sunday. Rodgers threw for 480 yards and four touchdowns, tying Matt Flynn’s lofty team record. Start all your fantasy players against Washington, all of them. Jordy Nelson (18.60) didn’t have a career day, but it wasn’t too shabby. JJ Watt (19.00) topped off Nich’s shit sundae with two sacks, two deflections, and five tackles (two for a loss).
Rick (114.80) over Ross (106.33)
Don’t let the box score fool you, the Redskins were pretty awful. Robert Griffin (22.90) got most of those point for Rick in garbage time. Still, points are points, and no one cares how you get them in fantasy. Jimmy Graham (17.50) dominated the self-destructing Bucs, scoring most of his points in the first quarter of play. Oh hey look, Mike Wallace (17.50) decided to show up this week– you earn that 60 million Mike, keep Jeff Ireland employed in Miami for another year.
Tom Brady (11.20) had a pretty rough Thursday night, dooming Ross to an ignominious defeat at the hands of his father. How bad was Brady’s night? I don’t think I can sum it up much better than Mike Tanier,
“For analytical types, the Patriots are providing something extremely valuable while Danny and Gronk are out: real data on what an excellent quarterback looks like with a terrible receiving corps. There are few examples in NFL history of an in-his-prime Hall of Famer like Brady throwing to a receiving corps this bad. The data we gather from the 2013 Patriots may someday help unlock the age-old mystery of where a quarterback’s ability stops and a receiver’s ability kicks in, allowing us to better answer Montana-without-Rice questions or better predict the effect of an All-Pro receiver joining or leaving a team. For now, all we know is that Brady’s talent stops the moment the ball hits Aaron Dobson in the hands.”
Oof, well, at least Dez (20.10) is back in form.
Evan (119.22) over Aaron (95.94)
A career day by Randall Cobb (19.05) and a breakout Monday Night performance by Gio Bernard (18.50) got me a victory this week, despite Eddie Lacy (1.00) suffering an unfortunate first-drive concussion at the hands (helmet?) of slapdick Redskins safety Brandon Meriweather. Id’ be more angry with Meriweather if he didn’t manage to concuss himself doing the same launching helmet move soon after.
Meanwhile Aaron can’t catch a goddamn break with his runningbacks. Stevan Ridley (4.00) turned in another ghastly performance, while Ray Ray (2.50) managed only 45 total yards and a fumble before going down with an injury. Terrelle Pryor (10.04) was not quite the fantasy revelation that he was last week, saving his anemic passing day (126 yards and no touchdowns) with 50 yards rushing on the ground vs. a pretty terrible Jacksonville team. Nevertheless, Seabass (14.00) managed to seal the win with four field goals.
Next week’s games of note:
Andy Reid’s Chiefs vs. Chip Kelly’s Eagles, Thursday Night
Packers-Bengals, Sunday Early
Texans-Ravens, Sunday Early
Jaguars-Seahawks, Sunday late (fucking lol)
Raiders-Broncos, Monday Night
Have a good week y’all
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