Week 9 Recap

Hi all,

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Look at it! It’s beautiful! This season is the best.

Top Scores

Ross: 172.44

Evan: 161.00

Aaron: 137.58

This week’s FAAB Bonuses

($2) Evan: Highest score without winning matchup

($2) Chris: Highest scoring bench player, Chris Johnson

($2) Ross: Score leader for the week.

($2) Evan: Weekly leaders in points scored against.

($2): Rick and Gray: Lowest in divisional standings

($3): Rick: Lowest overall seed of those trailing in divisions

Waivers run until Wednesday the 6th

Teams on bye this week: Browns, Chiefs, Pats, Jets

Standings

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Galen is entering the home stretch with a solid lead in the South and the league’s best shot at a first round playoff bye. Barriger is two games behind, and beyond him the rest of the division is locked in a massive 4-5 scrum.

In the North, the brothers Bale have pulled a little ahead, but with 4 games left in the fantasy regular season playoff seeding is still wide open.

Matchups!

Ross (172.44) over Evan (161.00)

This was supposed to be the place where I made fun of Ross for benching Tom Brady (33.18), who finally managed to have a good day against an ancient and ineffective Steelers defense. Instead, Ross started Nick Foles (45.64) who tied Peyton fucking Manning’s record with 406 yards and SEVEN TD’s. Thanks a lot Raiders. Ross also got great days out of AP (23.70) Jason Witten (16.20) and Keenan Allen (19.80). Besides Foles, the best player on Ross’s team this week was Cam Wake (27.00) who took over the Thursday night game with 3 sacks, a forced fumble and a walk off safety in overtime. I think his knee feels better.

Gio Bernard (22.40) had a great thursday night, including one of the highlight runs of the year. Unfortunately for me, he did this from the bench. Marshawn Lynch (14.10) and Fat Eddie (21.00) were far from terrible , maintaining their position as fantasy RB1’s. Lacy may be in for an even bigger workload if Aaron Rodger’s shoulder injury keeps him out long term. My real MVP this week was Andre Johnson (40.90). With UDFA Case Keenum under center, the old man exploded for 229 yards and 3 touchdowns against a Colts secondary that shut down the Broncos earlier in the year. A hometown favorite already because of his college days with the Houston Cougars, Keenum could very well be the Texans’ QB of the future.

Rick (115.09) over Ryan (93.78)

Rick was staring down the barrel of a sixth-straight loss in this one, up by only about 20 points with Aaron Rodgers (1.98) and Jordy Nelson (6.70) still to play on Monday night. Unfortunately for Ryan, Rodgers went down in the first quarter with an injury to his non-throwing shoulder, saddling Ryan with a measly 2 fantasy points and the Packers with Seneca Wallace. The disappointing Packers wasted good days from Marlon Brown (19.40) and Gonzo (14.40). DeMarco Murray (5.00) looked pretty good in his return injury, but his fantasy day was limited by only four carries in a surprisingly close game vs. the bottom feeding Vikings.

Rick got another stinker from RG3 (11.34) this week, who rushed for only 17 yards and never found the end zone. Overall, it wasn’t a particularly good week for the Geezers; counting his kicker, Rick only got four players into double digit fantasy points. Thankfully, one of those players was Jimmy Graham (23.55) who is playing at an unreasonably high level given his plantar fasciitis injury. Graham had 116 yards and 2 TDs and played a majority of snaps on offense, easing worries that he would see only limited use going forward. Meanwhile a healthy Trent Richardson (5.30) continues to disappointing. Between Glen Coffee, Mark Ingram, and Trent Richardson, it might be time to stop hyping Alabama runningbacks. Except Eddie Lacy, he’s dreamy.

Aaron (137.58) over Nich (97.02)

With a second win in a row, Aaron is slowly crawling his way back towards .500, while Nich falls just below the mark at 4-5. Romo (20.28) put another respectable day, this time in a surprisingly close last-second win against the Vikes. Rookie phenom Terrance Williams (4.30) was surprisingly quiet against a league-worst Minnesota secondary. Aaron won this week on strength of his two runningbacks. Stevan Ridley (22.40) found the end zone twice in the Pats’ 55-31 rout of the Steelers. The New England backfield is crowded, but Ridley is once again emerging as the true workhorse, garnering 26 of the 34 team carries. Rookie Zac Stacy (29.80) had an even better day, totalling 178 total yards and two touchdowns. With Bradford on IR and the passing offense in the toilet, the 7th round pick out of Vanderbilt has turned into this offense’s feature back and best offensive weapon.

Even without Reggie Wayne, Andrew Luck (24.84) got it done, throwing for 271/3TD’s in a comeback win against division rival Houston. Danny Amendola (18.20) finally showed what he can do when he’s healthy (which is almost never), reeling in over a hundred yards and a touch in the aformentioned rout of Pittsburgh. Unfortunately for Nich, Chris Long (1.00) was unable to repeat last week’s sublime three sack performance, ending the day with only one tackle. Jacquizz Rodgers (3.88) is still losing all his touches to a worn-out Steven Jackson. Lamar Miller (10.90) still looks really damn good running the ball, but Dolphins OC Mike Sherman continues to limit his touches, and he fumbled this week.

Gray (127.18) over Justin (81.22)

With this win, Gray and Justin both move to 4-5 in the South Division’s basement bloodbath. Justin’s team was thoroughly disappointing this week; Coming off a career day against the Jets in week 8, Andy Dalton (6.72) was ugly, turning the ball over four times against the Dolphins. Vincent Jackson (1.10) was repeatedly mugged by pass interference enthusiast Brandon Browner, managing only 11 yards on two catches. Ryan Matthews (3.40) and Bilal Powell weren’t much better, collecting only 63 yards rushing between them. Justin could take some comfort in the resurgence of Rob Gronkowski (20.30) who hauled in 9 of his 10 targets for 143 yards and a touch. Justin showed some pretty extraordinary patience holding on to Gronk through his lengthy injury, and its finally paying off.

This is it folks. Gray gave up a fourth round pick to to have Russ Wilson (22.28) as his second QB. While other teams picked up Antonio Brown, Eric Decker, DeSean Jackson and Gio Bernard, Gray bravely chose the backup QB. It paid off this week, as Wilson cracked 20 points in a comeback victory against the Bucs at home. I mean, I guess Gray would have won even without a QB this week, but whatever. CJ Spiller (15.50) looked like he’s regained some old form, totalling 155 all-purpose yards against a tough Kansas City D. Greg Olsen (13.60) found the end zone in a rout of the Dirty Birds, while AJ Green’s (13.80) whole day was on yards alone. I’m really confused about he Patriot’s rookie WR situation– at the beginning of the year it seemed like Kenbrell Thompkins was the guy to own. This week, he didn’t even make the box score, while Aaron Dobson (25.00) exploded for 130 yards and 2 TDs.

Barriger (134.65) over Chris (92.01)

Barriger comes out ahead in the battle of the South Division 4-4’s. Case Keenum (28.60) shined as a spot start for Peyton Manning, throwing for 350/3TD. Of course, 229 yards and all three of those touchdowns went to Andre Johnson (not that I’m complaining). Barriger was nearly blanked by an early Darren Sproles (0.20) injury, but Matt Forte (23.90) more than picked up the slack. The veteran put the team on his back Monday night, carrying a Cutler-less Bears to a 27-20 victory over the Packers. Barriger’s keepers choices look more prescient each week, as TY Hilton (30.95) went off to the tune of 121 yards and 3 TD’s. With Reggie Wayne done for the year, Hilton looks like the Colts WR1 from here on out.

Chris got hosed at RB, absolutely hosed. Darren McFadden (1.50) reinjured his hamstring (surprise!) before he could take advantage of a tasty matchup with the Eagle’s D. Arian Foster (0.00) had also been struggling with a hamstring leading up to Sunday, but went out early in his game with a back injury, leaving poor Chris with less than 2 points from his RB position. Adding insult to injury, Chris Johnson (29.00) had an fantastic day on Chris’ bench, rushing for 150/2TD against the Rams. Its becoming clear that we should start all runningbacks facing the Rams. DeSean Jackson (21.97) hauled in one of Nick Foles’ seven (!) touchdowns, but it wasn’t enough, especially with Kenbrell Thompkins (0.00) and Dexter McCluster (0.50) laying goose eggs. On a bright note, Philip River’s (19.04) career renaissance continues, as he threw for 341 yards and two touchdowns in a losing effort against the Redskins.

Galen (111.56) over Brad (89.56)

Galen’s win streak continues, and he moves to 7-2 this week with another solid performance against Brad. Brees (19.18) managed to put up a decent fantasy day, despite being under seige all morning by a terrifying Jet’s D line. Outside of Jimmy Graham, Brees wasn’t able to get much going through the air, and the Saints lost this one on the road in the Meadowlands. Jamaal Charles (9.60) was again denied his “customary touchdown”, but still managed 96 yards against a scrappy Buffalo defense. Alfred Morris (18.10) had a better day, carrying the load for the Redskins in a late win against the Chargers. Tamba Hali’s (9.28) day would have been substantially worse if he hadn’t scooped up a TJ Graham fumble and taken it 11 yards for a touchdown. Jeff Tuel was the Chief’s third 3rd-string QB opponent in a row, so it’s not too surprising that they’re going into their bye 9-0. Things get a bit tougher in week 11 when they face Denver on the road.

Cam Newton (18.16) was pretty sloppy on Sunday, but the Panthers got the win and he still managed to put up a decent fantasy day (largely because of his rushing TD). LeSean McCoy (14.00) and Le’Veon Bell (13.90) were similarly solid for Brad at runningback. Mothers of America, can we stop adding “Le” to the beginning of names please? LePierre Garcon (17.20) is one of the most heavily targeted receivers in the NFL this year. That didn’t change this week, as he hauled in 7 of his 11 targets for a whopping 172 yards. Delanie Walker (1.30) didn’t drop either of his two targets, but managed only 13 yards on the day. Brad forgot to play his kicker this week, but Dan Carpenter (7.00) wouldn’t have made a difference either way.

Next week’s games:

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Have a good week y’all

Week 7 Recap

Hi all,

The Alex Smith-led Chiefs are the only remaining undefeated team in the league. Hail Satan.

Top Scores

Nich: 140.12

Evan: 129.96

Justin: 125.25

This week’s FAAB Bonuses

($2) Justin: Highest score without winning matchup

($2) Gray: Highest scoring bench player  Roy Helu Jr. (22.60)

($2) Nich: Score leader for the week.

($2) Gray: Weekly leaders in points scored against.

($2): Gray and Aaron: Lowest in divisional standings

($3): Aaron: Lowest overall seed of those trailing in divisions

Waivers run until Wednesday the 23rd

Teams on bye this week: Bears, Titans, Colts, Chargers, Ravens, Texans

Standings

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Matchups!

Nich (140.12) over Chris (67.95)

Things couldn’t have gone much worse for Chris this week. Arian Foster (1.10) went down early with a hamstring injury, while his entire WR corps took the week off;  Larry Fitzgerald (1.70) DeSean Jackson (2.10) and Kenbrell Thompkins (1.60) all struggled with good coverage and miserable QB play. Philip Rivers (15.80) had an efficient day, but didn’t exactly have to sling the ball against the Jags, who at this point look undeserving of a BCS ranking. Chris’ lone standout was Chris Johnson (17.00) who saved his fantasy day with a 66 yard catch and run on the one play where both 49er starting safeties were sidelined by injury.

Things went considerably better for Nich, who moves to 3-4 off dominant performances by his QB and wide receivers. Andrew Luck (30.02) threw for three touchdowns and ran for a fourth in a Sunday night thrashing off the Broncos at home, the perfect ending to Peyton Manning’s over-hyped homecoming. Eric Decker (21.00) was busy for most of the night flopping like a little girl against the Colts’ press man coverage, but still managed to reel in 150 yards and a TD. Calvin Johnson (27.50) caught two bombs from Patty Melt, including a completely horseshit 50 yard hail mary that he snagged out of triple coverage. Lamar Miller (4.70) and MoJo (5.60) remain relatively disappointing, but if Decker, Mega and Luck keep having weeks like this, Nich can start whoever he damn well pleases at runningback.

Ryan (109.30) over Brad (91.39)

There were more punches thrown than passes in the Panthers-Rams game, as Chris Long got ejected and Smitty got even. This wasn’t a good environment for fantasy success, and while Carolina came out with the win, Cam Newton (14.69) didn’t have a great day points-wise. Most of Brad’s squad was pretty quiet this week. Robert Mathis (17.00) was the lone standout with two sacks and a forced fumble against Manning’s Broncos. LeSean McCoy (8.10) and the Eagles got inexplicably shut down by a pretty porous Cowboys defense– 8 points is disappointing considering his recent production. On the flip side of that narrative, LeVeon Bell’s (9.90) similar total is far more impressive, considering the fact that he was up against league’s top run defense. Things are looking up for the rookie, who’s giving the Steelers some much needed versatility on offense.

Ryan grinds out a win with a good performance by Aaron Rodgers (23.60) against Cleveland. Despite missing both Cobb and Jones, Rodgers threw for a respectable 260/3TD, including one touch to fellow Dick Knuckle Jordy Nelson (10.20). After an early injury scare, Fred Jackson (14.50) came back into the game and battered the Miami D for 85 total yards and a TD. Committee mate CJ Spiller had only 11 yards on 6 carries, and is pretty clearly still wounded, preserving FJax’s fantasy value for the time being. JJ Watt (15.00) got back on the board this week, notching a sack and a forced fumble in a brutal late-game loss to the Chiefs. Houston is now 2-5 on the year, and is the odds-on favorite to draft Johnny Football come spring.

Barriger(115.25) over Ross (98.63)

I initially tried to write some words about the Giants-Vikings game, but the room went dark and my mouth filled with blood. Suffice to say, AP (5.60) and the rest of the Vikes didn’t have a great night. This was bad news for Ross, who already got a big ol’ bag of poo from Nick Foles (5.70), whom he had started over Tom Brady (7.12). The whole Eagles-Cowboys game was surprisingly stingy in terms of fantasy points,ending with a measly 17-3 final score. The two touchdowns of the game went to backup RB Phillip Tanner and rookie wide receiver Terrance Williams, leaving Dez Bryant (11.00) with nice yardage numbers but no scores. Jerdropple Finley (13.20) was Ross’s best offensive performer, hauling in 72 yards and a touch before suffering a brutal neck injury that sent him to a local ICU.

This week was the Peyton Manning (25.34) and Matt Forte (28.90) show, who both racked up impressive fantasy point totals in real world losses. Pey Pey managed close to 400 yards and three touchdowns against a surprisingly stout Indianapolis secondary, but also threw the game’s only pick. Forte will have to carry the Bears offense for the next few weeks, as Jay Cutler is out for at least a month with a … torn.. groin. Ugh.  Brandon Weeden’s eyes uncrossed just long enough to throw a touchdown to Jordan Cameron (11.50). The tight end’s stock is trending downward now that the octogenarian funslinger is back under center; on Sunday he completed only 17 of 42 attempts (a 40% completion rate)– an astonishly bad 3.5 yards per attempt.

Galen (121.56) over Aaron (118.76)

Galen moves to 5-2 and keeps hold of the first seed with a close win over Aaron. With Drew Brees on bye, Ryan Tannehill (14.26) was an adequate spot start, throwing 3 TDs and 2 INTs. Jamaal Charles (16.30) was his usual dominant self, totalling 123 total yards and a touch. Demaryius Thomas (14.20) had an ok day, but it could have been a lot better if he had caught more than 4 of his 10 targets. Alfred Morris (9.50) was effective, but got vultured three times at the goal line by Roy Helu. Galen’s MVP this week was Tamba Hali (24.50), who totalled 2.5 sacks and forced a pair of fumbles. Kansas City currently leads the league with 35 sacks, 10 more than the next team.

Even though they came out with a win, the Cowboys offense was surprisingly anemic this week against a terrible Eagles defense. Tony Romo (12.76) managed only one touchdown against two INTs, probably dooming him to Aaron’s bench for the foreseeable future with Terrelle Pryor coming off his bye. Ray Rice (7.20) continues his disappointing 2013 campaign, totalling only 45 yards on 15 carries. DeAngelo Williams (5.90) was worse, eeking out 5 fewer yards on just as many carries against the league’s most generous run defense. Two young wide receivers were bright spots for Aaron this week; Jarett Boykin (16.30) did quite well in relief of Randall Cobb, hauling in 103 yards and a TD. Terrance Williams (13.10) has pretty clearly clearly taken the #2 receiver job from Miles Austin. With the Cowboys entering cap hell in the next couple years ($35 million over by 2015), Austin and his massive $60 million contract are not long for Dallas.

Gray (114.61) over Rick (108.80)

Gray extends his win streak, clawing his way back up the standings on the broken bodies of Bales. Kaepernick (20.76) was in old form this week against Tennessee, running for 68 yards and a TD, saving his fantasy day from a 200 yard 0 TD/ 0 INT passing performance. Speaking of being in old form, AJ Green (21.50) hauled in some beautiful high point catches, as well as taking an Andy Dalton underthrow 82 yards to the house. Knowshon Moreno (11.90) turned in another consistent performance against the Colts, while poor Doug Martin (5.40) managed only 54 yards before going down with a torn labrum.

Rick got a great performance from Robert Griffin (25.90) this week, who added 84 rushing yards to his 298/2TD passing day. Will Moore (18.50) had a similarly great night against the winless Bucs, tacking on a sack and forced fumble to 7 tackles and 2 pass defenses. Danny Woodhead (13.60) remains the Chargers most productive running back, largely on account of his versatility in the passing game. Unfortunately, the rest of the weekend was pretty brutal for the Geezers. Trent Richardson (1.70) mostly wiped out his 37 rushing yards with a fumble, while Reggie Wayne (5.00) hauled in five passes before going out for the year with a torn ACL. Thankfully for Rick the news wasn’t all bad, coming off the bye Mike Wallace (8.80) drew a season-high 10 targets- it seems the Dolphins are determined to get him involved.

Evan (129.96) over Justin (125.25)

I just managed to eke this one out, the whole matchup came down to the Monday night game. I had to root against Jared Allen (7.50)  sacking Eli Manning, a painfully counterintuitive experience. Justin’s team put up a hell of a fight, coming in third in the week’s overall scoring. Frank Gore (22.40) found the end zone twice against the Titans, while VJax (25.80) hauled in two scores and 138 yards on a massive 22 targets. Speaking of massive targets (pun intended), Rob Gronkowski (11.40) saw 17 on the day, catching 8 for 114 yards and very nearly a score. Without either Roddy White or Julio Jones, Matt Ryan (21.72) remained surprisingly effective, throwing for close to 300 yards and 3 touchdowns.

Matt Stafford (26.28) managed a pretty good fantasy day with his usual “side arm bullshit throws to Calvin Johnson” strategy. Marshawn Lynch (16.40) and Eddie Lacy (16.80) had similar games, each adding a score to 100ish total yards. Of course, Lynch’s day was substantially more impressive, with 80 of his 91 rushing yards coming after contact. Josh Gordon (2.10) managed only 21 yards on 6 targets as Brandon Weeden entered full meltdown mode against the vaunted Green Bay pass rush (hint, they have no pass rush). Rookie tight end Jordan Reed (19.40) blew up on my bench, and apparently Washington is already trying to trade Fred Davis. This finally gives me the excuse to link Fred Davis’ recent court transcripts, when he decided to act as his own lawyer.

Next week’s games

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Have a good week y’all

Week 6 Recap

Hi all,

 

There’s something mesmerizing watching former playoff contenders melt down, like watching a star go into supernova. The Texans are well on their way, this week they put up nearly twice the total yardage of the Rams but still managed to lose 38-13.  In the last five weeks, Houston QB’s have thrown just as many TD’s to their opponents as their own receivers.

 

Top Scores

Chris: 161.58

Gray: 142.96

Evan: 139.52

This week’s FAAB Bonuses

($2) Evan: Highest score without winning matchup

($2) Aaron: Highest scoring bench player, Stevan Ridley

($2) Chris: Score leader for the week.

($2) Gray: Weekly leaders in points scored against.

($2): Gray and Aaron: Lowest in divisional standings

($3): Gray: Lowest overall seed of those trailing in divisions

 

Waivers run until Wednesday the 16th

Teams on bye this week: Raiders, Saints

 

Standings

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Matchups!

 

 Gray (142.96) over Evan (139.52)

The football gods smote my team mightily this week, sending Randall Cobb (5.30) to short term IR after a Matt Elam spear tackle, while Harrison Smith (3.50) got a case of the dreaded turf-toe. Otherwise the team played well — Matt Stafford (25.02) and undrafted USC tight end Joseph Fauria connected on three touchdowns vs. a slipping Cleveland team. Fauria has 7 catches and 5 touchdowns on the year, the very definition of a Barriger tight end. Marshawn Lynch (27.50) had his best game of the year, hammering the Titans for 155 total yards and two touches.

It was all for naught however, as Gray kept pace with a three TD performance from Knowshon Moreno (28.40), who seems to be cementing the starting role in Denver. Disappointing performances by Colston (1.10) and Greg Olsen (1.90) were obscured by a massive day from Tim Jennings (24.60). Without Peanut Tillman, Jennings had first shot at the Eli Manning interception smorgasbord, picking him twice and returning one for a touchdown. The lesser Manning remains on pace for a record number of interceptions.

 

Galen (120.00) over Rick (75.34)

Rick drops to 2-4 a crushingly disappointing team effort by the Geezers . Greg Jennings (3.40) remains stuck in neutral in the dysfunctional Minnesota passing offense. Hopefully the addition of ex-buc Josh Freeman injects a little life into the vertical game. Trent Richardson (5.30) ran hard and showed some tackle-breaking ability, but was limited to only 10 carries in a Monday night loss to the Chargers. Worst of all, Jimmy Graham (0.00) got blanked by the determined defense of Patriots CB Aqib Talib, who’s playing shut down ball so far this year.  The lone bright spot this week for Rick’s team was RG3, who looked a hell of a lot better coming off a week’s rest, but who was still let down by his team with a number of brutal drops.

Galen moves to 4-2 and takes over the number one seed, again largely on the legs of Jamaal Charles (24.80), who turned in another MVP-calibre day for the Chiefs. Charles is the Kansas City offense– Alex Smith went 14/31 for 128 yards and no TD’s. On the other side of the ball, Tamba Hali managed to rack up 3.5 of the 10 sacks Terrelle Pryor took on Sunday. Alfred Morris (14.10) finally flashed a little of what we saw last year, breaking off a 45 yard touchdown run.  Even rookie safety Eric Reid (9.83) got onto the fantasy scoreboard with a long return off an interception.

 

Brad (119.08) over Aaron (73.98)

This is the Cam Newton (30.68) Brad fell in love with. On Sunday he threw for 3 touchdowns and rushed for a fourth against an imploding Minnesota defense.  LeSean McCoy (16.10) managed to top 100 yards rushing against a tough Buccaneers run D.  There were concerns about McCoy’s prospects with the decidedly less-mobile Nick Foles replacing Vick under center, but this performance was very reassuring. Justin Blackmon (19.00) racked up some impressive garbage time yards against the Broncos, and Patrick Willis (11.00) was mighty, adding a forced fumble to 8 total tackles. Anquan Boldin (2.80) was disappointing, as he struggled to gain separation from Patrick Peterson (7.45), whom Brad presumably benched for precious 49ers karma.

Aaron’s runningback woes continue– Ray Rice (4.90) lay a turd on 14 carries, failing to find the end zone despite 150 goal line opportunities. Stevan Ridley (23.00) finally had a big game…right  after Aaron benched him in frustration. DeAngelo Williams (11.70) had a decent enough day in relief, but Cam and Eggman got the rushing touchdowns. To make matters worse, James Jones (1.00) went down with a PCL sprain early in a decent matchup against the Ravens.

 

Ross (133.92) over Justin (120.78)

Jay Cutler (20.48) was a decent spot start for Justin this week, finding Brandon Marshall twice against an atrocious Giants defense on Thursday night. Vincent Jackson (23.40) also managed to put up a great day against a terrible NFC East defense, burning the Iggles for 114 yards and two touches. Frank Gore (10.10) had to work for every inch of his 101 yard day against a very tough Arizona run defense. After such a promising start, Antonio Gates (2.80) cooled off a bit against the Colts on Monday night as Philip Rivers relied heavily on rookie WR Keenan Allen.

Ross stays on top of the North Division with a workmanlike performance across the board. Tom Brady (14.36) was having a pretty bad day until the very end of his matchup with the Saints, when he pulled off some vintage Brady Bullshit and led the Patsies on a last second touchdown drive for the win. Boston fans were able to enjoy their victories by radio on the drive home, as the stadium was more than half empty when the Patriots pulled out the late victory. Reggie Bush (19.50) turned in another excellent performance in the Lions offense, adding a touchdown to 135 total yards. Dez Bryant (3.60) was held to a disappointing 36 yards on five catches, but thankfully for Ross, Paul “The Pos” Posluszny (20.48) rumbled 59 yards on a pick six of Peyton Manning.

 

Chris (161.58) over Ryan (108.60)

The Texans may be in full meltdown mode, but Arian Foster (19.80) still got his, rushing for 141 yards in a blowout loss to the Rams (dear god). DeSean Jackson (18.40) kept his fantasy value afloat, reeling in two Nick Foles touchdowns against the most expensive secondary in the league. The Bucs are having Revis play zone, because (if its not clear by now) Greg Schiano is a huge asshole in every way. Chris’s MVP this week was Vernon Davis (30.00) who showed his open field speed with 180 yards and two touchdowns against Arizona.

In a matchup of the two highest paid QB’s in the league, Aaron Rodgers (16.70) was slightly less bad. Rodgers struggled a little bit with Cobb and Jones sidelined by injury, his lone touchdown coming on a beautiful Jordy Nelson (17.30) deep ball. Karlos Dansby (18.00) had an excellent day against the 9ers, racking up 11 total tackles, half a sack and an impressive three pass defenses.

 

Barriger (110.73) over Nich (87.68)

Andrew Luck (7.98) struggled on Monday night against poor San Diego defense, throwing for just over 200 yards and no touchdowns with one interception. Eddie Royal’s (0.40) fantasy glory days may be behind him with the emergence of Keenan Allen and Vincent Brown, as he managed only 4 rushing yards on the day. Nich wins this week’s “biggest balls” award, as he started Brandon Jacobs (23.40) who rewarded him with two rushing touchdowns against Chicago on Thursday night.

It was a comparatively quiet day for Peyton Manning (13.05) who threw a pick six and lost two fumbles in a determined effort to make Jacksonville believe they had a shot at winning a game. Chad Henne responded courageously with two picks of his own, moving the Jags to 0-6 and in the lead for the first overall pick in next year’s draft. In case you can’t tell already, having Alex Smith as your QB is fantasy poison, a fact that Dwayne Bowe (4.60) is learning all too well this year. The real bright spot for Barriger’s team this week was his defense– Derrick Johnson (18.50) snagged two Terrelle Pryor sacks, while rookie OLB Corey Lemonier (18.00) forced a fumble and sacked Carson Palmer for a safety.

Interconference record:

North: 1 win

South: 5 wins (oof)

 

Next week’s games

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Have a good week y’all

2013 Week 1 Recap

Hi all,

Football is back, God is good. This season has already gifted us with a new Manningface, as well as a new Jaguars_fan.gif.  Not that the old one really needed replacing. Let’s take a moment and meditate on how bad the Jags were this week:

  • They only scored two points, on a blocked punt safety in the first quarter.
  • Blaine Gabbert managed an embarrassing 3.5 yards per attempt, throwing for 121 yards, 0 touchdowns and two interceptions before getting injured.
  • The Jaguars didn’t cross the 50 yards line until the fourth quarter.

Enjoy that number one pick Jacksonville.  Tanking for Teddy? Clowning for Clowney?

Justin: 159.76

Galen: 155.85

Ryan: 150.82

This week’s FAAB Bonuses

  1. ($2) Gray: Highest score without winning matchup
  2. ($2) Brad: Highest scoring bench player (except QB’s) Anquan Boldin
  3. ($2) Justin: Score leader for the week.
  4. ($2) Gray: Weekly leaders in points scored against.
  5. ($2): Nich and Brad: Lowest in divisional standings
  6. ($3): Nich: Lowest overall seed of those trailing in divisions

Waivers run until Wednesday the 11th, who will earn the right to rename their team “Orange Julius”?

Standings

week 1 standings

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Matchups!

Chris (139.17) over Barriger (134.15)

Things looked bleak for Chris after Peyton Manning (46.28) started off the league year with an historic night.  Despite having a wet noodle for an arm, Manning managed to tie the league record for touchdowns in a game (7), falling just one short of the 2012 Chiefs’ total.  One quarter of his pass completions were touchdowns. At this point, he’s on pace to throw 112 touchdowns this season, a totally attainable number considering the fact that football is magic and it’s back on our televisions.

Despite being in an early week hole, Chris’ team clawed its way back with impressive performances by Vick (25.52), DJax (16.65), VD (21.80) and Larry Fitzgerald (20.00). Larry finally has a real life human being at quarterback again, as Carson Palmer turned in an excellent game behind a still-porous Arizona line. Boom times are coming to the desert, at least until Justin and Aldon Smith grind him into a gristly jelly in week 6.

Justin (159.76) over Gray (140.28)

Grayson spent most of Sunday evening alone in his room, imagining Kap (30.68) throwing long bombs to AJ Green (29.20).  Alas, those two performances were not enough to overcome the woeful scoring of CJ Spiller (3.50), and the unforgivable sin of starting Darrius Heyward-Bey (3.30) in his flex slot.  Special mention should go to Vontaze Burfict (14.30) who I’m really only mentioning as an excuse to link everyone to this picture again. The dog’s name is Chacho, and he owns.

Despite being Gronkless for the foreseeable future, Justin’s team was impressive.  Matt Ryan (19.36) put up decent numbers in an exquisite late round loss to the Saints, while Wes Welker (18.38) showed immediate chemistry with his newest hall of fame QB. That Manning sure does love throwing to white boys. Charles Tillman (19.02) struggled in coverage vs. AJ Green, but still managed to pick off Andy Dalton twice in Chicago’s comeback win against Cincinnati.

Galen (155.85) over Brad (125.33)

Roddy White (1.90) had a rough opening night on a sprained ankle, but a dominant performance by Demaryius Thomas (28.10) more than made up for it. The real MVP of Galen’s win was his defense, which combined for a cool 53.17 points. The unit managed three picks, returning two for touchdowns against the snakebitten Jags and Chargers.

On the other side, a couple of stars shone brightly in the darkness of Brad’s week one defeat. LeSean McCoy (24.90) rushed for 184 yards and a touchdown in Chip Kelly’s up-tempo ground attack. If Shady (and Vick) can stay healthy, his upside is terrifying. Over in St. Louis, Jared Cook (24.10) showed how well a tight end can do when not forced to catch Jake Locker’s passes.  Cook managed 141 yards and two touchdowns and almost had a third if it wasn’t for some vintage Honeybadger.  Incidentally, I apologize for the new captioning on .gifs, apparently people have to do it these days to keep the NFL’s legal team off their backs.

Aaron (106.06) over Nich (92.40)

Andrew Luck (24.92) managed a great game against the Raiders defense, adding a rushing touchdown to a pair of passing scores. Otherwise Nich’s team turned in disappointing performances:  MJD (4.50) and Lamar Miller (1.00) joined the “week one RB” apocalypse, scraping together only 48 rushing yards between them. Danny Amendola (10.40) was promising in the new-look (read: shittier) Patriots passing attack.

Meanwhile, Aaron’s squad turned in a workmanlike effort across the board.  The true standout of the night was second year Bucs LB Lavonte David (19.67) who managed a sack, interception and two pass defenses against Geno Smith’s Jets.  He also handed New York the game with a bone-headed 4th quarter late hit.  Ray Rice (13.10) got his, but Stevan Ridley (2.60) did not, fumbling his way back into Belichick’s doghouse.  Luckily for Ridley, Shane Vereen broke his tiny little gnome wrist soon after, probably saving Ridley’s place in the offense for another few weeks at least.

Ryan (150.82) over Rick (101.03)

Good lord the Redskins looked like dogshit, and RG3 (19.43) was no exception. He managed to salvage his fantasy day in the second half after throwing two brutal interceptions in the first. Trent Richardson (7.70) and Chris Ivory (1.50) were uninspiring, but both RB’s were facing top tier run defenses.  Navorro Bowman (13.50) turned in one of the few double digit performances, ripping the ball from Eddie Lacy’s hands while Justin Smith held him upright in a vice-like bearhug.  If that doesn’t send a shiver down your spine, you don’t have feelings.

Even without an outstanding performance from JJ Watt (5.50), Ryan’s team was dominant. Victor Cruz’s three touchdown effort (29.80) was the silver lining on an embarrassing Giants loss in Jerry World. Whatever, fuck the Giants.  Jordy Nelson (19.00) has barely practiced lately, but he sure looked in form on Sunday, repeatedly abusing Nnamdi Asomugha in one on one coverage. Aaron Rodgers (24.62) was his usual surgical self, managing 333 yards and three touchdowns despite a shitty line and a suffocating 49er pass rush.

Ross (145.44) over Evan (139.85)

I have no problem using the first person in these recaps: Holy shit my runningbacks sucked this week. Marshawn Lynch (5.20) managed only 43 yards rushing against a massively improved Carolina front seven. Meanwhile David Wilson (-2.10) turned in the worst performance of the week, whiffing repeatedly in pass protection and coughing up two fumbles before being benched by an apoplectic Tom Coughlin.  Thankfully my receiving corps faired a bit better, combining for 67.80 points with four touchdowns.

It was too little, too late against Ross’ dominant runningbacks. Adrian Peterson (30.10) managed less than a yard per carry on 17 of his 18 carries.  That other carry ? It went for 78 yards and a touchdown. In the same game, Reggie Bush (25.10) had an impressive Motor City debut, adding 101 receiving yards and a touchdown to 90 yards on the ground.  Dez Bryant (2.20) was limited by an early injury, while Antonio Brown (7.92) led an abysmal Steelers offense in receiving with 71 yards on seven targets.

Next week’s games of note:

Jets-Patriots Thursday Night Football

Redskins Packers Sunday Early

Manningbowl Sunday Late

49ers Seahawks Sunday Night

Scoring change note: I have made one last change to fumble scoring, I’m sorry. I changed fumbles LOST  to -2, there is no penalty if your team recovers the fumble. To balance this, I simply got rid of the 2 point IDP reward for recovering a fumble.  Watching Sunday’s games, it just didn’t feel “right” when a player lost a couple crucial points for an inconsequential fumble out of bounds or to a teammate.

Please note: The only reason I felt ok doing this is because it didn’t change any matchup results. Also, for those wondering, my team lost points because of the change.

Have a good week y’all

49er Draft Document- The Edge Rushers

Aldon Smith and Ahmad Brooks were an effective combination last year; Smith nearly broke the NFL sack record and Brooks had an extremely underrated year.  However, the 49ers are still woefully short of depth at outside linebacker.  I’m going to divide this email into two sections.

(1) Early round pass rushing “tweeners”: That is, players who set to rush the edge rather than play two-gap.  There’s always a possibility we draft another, even early.

(2) Mid to late round outside linebacker depth: Guys we may pick up later in the draft to give us some depth at the position.

1- Big Name Edge Rushers

Ezekiel Ansah, BYU, DE

Ezekiel Ansah, DE, BYU

Video

Ansah is a physical freak from Ghana.  He’s blessed with incredible strength and rare athleticism in a giant’s frame.  His raw, physical talent and the fact that he was born outside the United States have caused Ansah to be compared to Jason Pierre Paul.  Ansah is a much more raw prospect however; He’s been described by some writers as “not a football player”.  He is new to the sport and lacks a lot of the fundamentals.  Like Margus Hunt, he’ll be drafted almost purely on physical upside. He could play 34 end or OLB.

Draft position: Top 15

==============================================================

Barkevious Mingo, DE, LSU

Barkevious Mingo, DE, LSU

Video

Mingo is a skinny, angry demon off the edge.  His game is all about aggression and speed, although he can keep contain with the best of them.  His lack of size is a concern, but his phenomenal athleticism, drive and work ethic mean that he’s unlikely to make it past the first few teams.  He has the best name in this draft.

Draft position: Top 15

==============================================================

Dion Jordan, DE, Oregon

Dion Jordan, DE, Oregon

Video

Jordan’s main selling point is his versatility; he could probably play slot corner in the NFL if he wanted to, and he has a ton of natural talent as a pass rusher.  However, some have pointed to a lack of  numbers at Oregon as evidence that he’s being overrated by the draft process and his combine numbers. He’s fast, fluid, and not getting out of the top 10.

Draft position: Top 5-10

==============================================================

Jarvis Jones, OLB, Georgia

Jarvis Jones, OLB, Georgia

Video

Jones hits like a truck and is a natural 3-4 outside linebacker.  He was incredibly productive at Georgia, and was their main playmaker on defense, racking up 14.5 sacks, 39 qb hits and 7 forced fumbles in 12 games last year.  He’s a ferocious pass rusher and run defender.  Despite receiving medical clearance, concerns over a lingering spinal problem has dropped his stock somewhat and could cause him to slide.

Draft position: Mid first

==============================================================

Damontre Moore, DE, Texas A&M

Damontre Moore, DE, Texas A&M

Video

Moore had a really good junior year, but a really bad combine.  He was one of the most productive and feared defenders in the SEC, but then came on TV and ran and bench-pressed like an old lady.  As a result he’s been accused of having a poor work ethic, which is odd considering he possesses one of the most relentless motors in college ball; even at defensive end he often makes plays 10-15 yards down the field.  He is an extremely versatile prospect, having played every DLine and linebacker position in both 3-4 and 4-3.

Draft position: Late first, early second

==============================================================

Tank Carradine, DE, Florida State

Tank Carradine, DE, Florida State

Video

Carradine came off the bench to have a dominant season opposite fellow first rounder Bjoern Werner at Florida State. He might be the best pure 4-3 end in this draft. Why is he in this list then?  The 49ers have shown a ton of interest in him.  A knee injury history is a serious concern, but probably not enough to drop him out of the first round.  If you make him German, more experienced but less physically gifted, you have Bjoern Werner, the other FSU DE in this draft.

Draft position: Mid first to early second.

==============================================================

Later Round Guys

Sio Moore, OLB, Connecticut

Sio Moore, OLB, Connecticut

Video

This is going to be tough for me– Sio Moore is one of my biggest draft crushes, and I’m not quite sure why he’s not higher in terms of expected draft position.  He can cover tight ends, shed blockers and play the run.  On top of all that, he’s pretty damn good at rushing the passer.  He’s a good fit at either strong or weak side 4-3 linebacker, but could play Ahmad Brook’s strong side OLB position in a 3-4.

Draft position: Early 3rd to 4th.

==============================================================

Chase Thomas, OLB, Stanford

Chase Thomas, OLB, Stanford

I’m not sure this guy needs any introduction.  He’s an aggressive and instinctual football player who is equally good rushing the passer as he is stopping the run. Although disciplined and technically sound, he’s been seriously underrated by a lack of elite combine measurables.  He could be a steal for us at his expected draft position, and would at least be a force on special teams.

Draft position: 3rd-5th round

==============================================================

2012- Week Four Recap

Hi all,

The Saints are 0-4.

I may be prone to hyperbole, but this week yielded what might be the greatest gif in the history of televised football.  It made a Philadelphia Eagles victory improbably palatable.  In “Holy shit the AFC South is bad” news, the Titans are on pace through the first four games to having the worst defense in league history. So..um, start everyone versus Tennessee I guess.

Also, Jay Cutler is kind of a dick, but we knew that already.

———————————————————————————
Forgetting Brandon Marshall: 154.84(Justin)
Tamba Halicaust: 145.90 (Galen)
Newtonian Freaking Physics: 141.72 (Brad)

This week’s FAAB Bonuses
($2) Chris: Highest score without winning matchup
($2) Gray: Highest scoring bench player, Charles Johnson
($2) Justin: Score leader for the week.
($2) Aaron: Weekly leaders in points scored against.
($2): Aaron and Barriger: Lowest in divisional standings
($3): Aaron: Lowest overall points score of those trailing in divisions

Waivers run until the Wednesday the 3rd.  Witness the horror of people outbidding each other for Dolphins receivers.
———————————————————————————
Standings:
North:

  1. Ryan (3-1)
  2. Rick (3-1)
  3. Nich (2-2)
  4. Ross (2-2)
  5. Evan (2-2)
  6. Aaron (0-4)

South

  1. Galen (3-1)
  2. Justin (3-1)
  3. Chris (2-2)
  4. Brad (2-2)
  5. Gray (1-3)
  6. Barriger (1-3)


We are approaching the end of the first round of divisional games.  Week six is the first of three weeks of interdivision play, just like last year.  Without any obvious positional weaknesses and armed with the lowest points-against total in the league, Galen could easily run away with the division lead.  The North is a bit more up in the air; Ryan’s crushing week 5 bye schedule could catapult Ross into the lead.  Aaron remains cursed by the fact that his team has no logo.

Top Fives!

QB

  1. Tom Brady: 32.00 (Galen)
  2. Cammy Cam: 31.20 (Brad)
  3. Drew Brees: 29.84 (Barriger)
  4. Aaron Rodgers: 28.06 (Nich)
  5. Ryan Fitzpatrick: 26.40 (Waivers)


It’s super-cool retro 2011 QB rankings this week, mainly because they all played pretty terrible defenses.  I seriously don’t know what’s wrong with the Bills; they had the game in the bag by the end of the first half, then allowed the Pats to score 35 straight points in the second.  The whole team is playing like they want out of Buffalo. Who could blame them?  Cam did pretty much everything in his power to beat the Falcons short of going out there and playing some cornerback.

RB

  1. Stevan Ridley: 23.60 (Aaron)
  2. Michael Turner: 23.10 (Justin)
  3. Marshawn Lynch: 21.50 (Evan)
  4. Brandon Bolden: 20.80 (Literally no one on the face of the earth)
  5. Jamaal Charles: 20.50 (Galen)


Last week I promised you numerous Jamaal Charles TD gifs to come, and here’s another; unfortunately Charles is about the only redeemable thing about the Chiefs offense right now.  Same goes for Marshawn Lynch and the Seahawks, it may be time for Flynnsanity.  The Bills are so bad, they put two Patriots runningbacks into this list.  The Panthers are so bad, they made Michael Turner look good.  That’s a special kind of bad.

WR

  1. Brian Hartline: 32.30 (Waivers)
  2. Roddy White: 28.90 (Chris)
  3. Andre Roberts: 23.80 (Waivers)
  4. Marques Colston: 21.30 (Galen)
  5. Brandon Marshall: 19.80 (Evan)


Marshall just pushed A.J. Green out of the top five, so I have to find another excuse to post this catch.  Meanwhile Dolphin’s rookie quarterback Ryan Tannehill fell only 1 yard short of Cam’s rookie passing record against a legitimately tough Arizona defense; Brian Hartline was the chief beneficiary.  Every time you think you think you know this league it drops a Cardinals Dolphins shootout on you.  *Sigh*

TE

  1. Scott Chandler: 18.20 (Brad)
  2. Jason Witten: 17.20 (Chris’s bench)
  3. Rob Gronkowski: 15.40 (Justin)
  4. Greg Olsen: 14.90 (Chris)
  5. Owen Daniels: 13.20 (Barriger’s bench)


So Jason Witten is alive again, that’s a thing I guess.  He caught a garbage time TD from Kyle Orton in a blowout loss to the Bears; Romo was pulled after his fifth interception.  Contract talks between Jerry Jones and Romo have broken down by the way, and Romo could very well end up a free agent after this year.  I’m sure a lot of teams would throw a lot of money his way.  I can hear the 49er fans hissing in disgust.  Unfortunately, Romo is actually not a bad quarterback.   Good lord I’ve occupied the whole tight end section with a Romo rant.  Scott Chandler has a touchdown every three receptions.  The Barriger’est of tight ends.

Owned IDP

  1. Charles Johnson: 25.00 (Gray’s bench)
  2. Lance Briggs: 24.85 (Aaron’s bench)
  3. Donald Butler: 19.53 (Evan)
  4. JJ Watt: 17.68 (Ryan)
  5. Aldon Smith: 17.50 (Rick)


The way I figure it, JJ Watt will be off his rookie deal at the same time that Justin Smith retires, at which point he will come to the bay area and everything can continue as normal.  Seriously, the conventional wisdom is that 3-4 ends like Watt simply aren’t dominant in fantasy, JJ and Calais Campbell are making a strong case otherwise.  Watt does things that 3-4 ends shouldn’t be able to do.

Next week there are some interesting games on TV:

  • Falcons/Redksins battle of the newly-relevant QB’s, Sunday early.

 

  • Denver/Patriots Sunday afternoon: Rematch of the old Brady-Manning Rivalry (no, the other one)
  • The Houston defense finishes off the withered husk of Mark Sanchez monday night.


TEAMS ON BYE WEEK FIVE: COWBOYS, LIONS, RAIDERS, BUCS
Have a good week everyone.

PS:  The Redskins are kind of embarrassing.  

2012- Week One Recap

Hi all,

Football is back and Jim Harbaugh is still insane.  I have good feelings about this season.  There are five rookies starting at quarterback this year, and thankfully only one of them is Brandon Weeden.  Our league’s regular and post season structure will be the same as last year: 5 division games, 3 inter-division games, 5 division games, 3 week playoffs.

We will once again be using FAAB budgets for the waiver wire. Please note that draft picks are now fair game for trades, although in the wonky NFL.com system they must be swapped, not given outright.  I hope that everyone is having an ok time so far with NFL.com, if you haven’t already, try messing with the default page-view settings under My Team> Edit Settings: you can turn off things like video autoplay and annoying graphs.


Without further ado let’s get to the top three teams this week:

The Geezers: 139.65 (Rick)
Dick Knuckles: 126.80 (Ryan)
Chuparon: 124.32 (Evan)

This week’s FAAB Bonuses
$2) Ross: Highest score without winning matchup
($2) Ryan: Highest scoring bench player, C.J. Spiller
($2) Rick: Score leader for the week.
($2) Ross: Weekly leaders in points scored against.
($2): Nich and Justin Lowest in divisional standings
($3): Justin: Lowest overall points score of those trailing in divisions

Waivers run until the Wednesday the12th, a bounty of shitty Jets receivers awaits you!

Standings:
North:

  1. Rick (1-0)
  2. Ryan (1-0)
  3. Evan (1-0)
  4. Ross (0-1)
  5. Aaron (0-1)
  6. Nich (0-1)

South

  1. Galen (1-0)
  2. Brad (1-0)
  3. Chris (1-0)
  4. Barriger (0-1)
  5. Gray (0-1)
  6. Justin (0-1)


Top Fives!

QB

  1. Matt Ryan: 32.46 (Ross)
  2. RGIII: 26.88 (Rick)
  3. Tony Romo: 23.48 (Chris)
  4. Aaron Rodgers: 22.82 (Nich)
  5. Drew Brees: 21.56 (Andrew)
 

Mercifully, I chose long ago to only rank the top five players at each position, or else I would have had to include Mark Sanchez on this list. Instead, allow me one moment of self promotion with this Cutler to Jeffery bomb.  The extra chins help give Cutler his velocity.  Also: RG3 blah blah fucking bla…oh wait he beat the Saints in their home opener?  RG3 is the greatest. Everyone is happy except Shanahan, whose every moment is agony.

RB

  1. C.J. Spiller: 23.40 (Ryan’s bench)
  2. Kevin Smith: 23.10 (Ryan’s bench)
  3. Alfred Morris: 21.60 (Galen’s bench)
  4. Raymell Rice: 21.30 (Evan)
  5. Stevan Ridley: 21.20 (Aaron)


A triumphant week for bench runningbacks, with only Ridley and Rice drawing fantasy starts.  Fred Jackson is set to miss at least four weeks with an ugly knee injury and the Bills may never look back if Spiller keeps playing like this.  Brad’s eye just twitched involuntarily.

WR

  1. Kevin Ogletree: 23.40 (Waivers)
  2. Julio Jones: 22.80 (Aaron)
  3. Stephen Hill: 20.90 (Waivers)
  4. Randall Cobb: 19.53 (Evan’s bench)
  5. Jeremy Kerley: 18.20 (Waivers)
 

Julio Jones is living up to the hype: Most of those points were scored in the first half of play.  The Chiefs often had a linebacker covering Julio because Romeo Crennel would rather go home and take a nap than coach his damn football team. The big surprise is that Mark Sanchez put two wideouts into the top five this week.  If there is a God he is not paying attention. It is worth mentioning that Ogletree’s fantasy performance on Wednesday night was greater than the sum total of his last two years combined.

TE

  1. Jimmy Graham: 14.50 (Ross)
  2. Dennis Pitta: 13.30 (Waivers)
  3. Aaron Hermandez: 12.40 (Brad)
  4. Rob Gronkowski: 12.00 (Justin)
  5. Gonzo: 11.30 (Galen’s bench)


Nothing really too surprising here: Gonzo is ageless and the big three are still very good at abusing the middle of field. Barring some sort of unforseen injury the tight end landscape in 2012 could look a hell of a lot like 2011. Hopefully minus some Scheffler.

Owned Defensive Players

  1. Ray Lewis: 20.50 (Rick)
  2. D’Qwell Jackson: 19.68 (Gray)
  3. NaVorro Bowman: 17.787 (Rick)
  4. Brian Cushing: 16.53 (Barriger)
  5. Von Miller: 16.00 (Chris)


Ray Lewis is 150 years old and still making plays all over the field.  Meanwhile D’Qwell Jackson nearly won the game for the Browns singlehandedly, and netted Grayson a cool 8 points when he pick-sixed Michael Vick.  Bowman was a force on the San Francisco defense, staying in during the dime formation in place of the mighty Patrick Willis while reeling in 2 pass defenses, 8 tackles and an interception.

Standout FA Defensive Players

  1. Stephen Nicholas: 21.08 LB- Falcons
  2. Paris Lenon: 20.50  LB- Cardinals
  3. Wesley Woodyard: 18.00 LB- Broncos


There is a slight oddity to the defensive rankings that is worth mentioning.  If I ranked top five IDP this week it would be mostly cornerbacks with pick sixes.  I would argue against rostering these boom or bust guys: Don’t think that an interception or a pick six is easily repeatable.  One only needs to look back on total IDP scoring for the last few years to see that cornerbacks are unreliable at best, and almost never the overall score leaders.  In the interest of narrative and not leading you all astray, I’m going to avoid the “who got a pick six this week” sweepstakes and instead list the standout free agents from week one.  That said, please start any and all cornerbacks facing Brandon Weeden.

Next week there are some fantastic games on TV:

  • Packers/Bears Thursday Night
  • Lions/49ers Sunday Night
  • Broncos/Falcons Monday Night

Have a good week everyone.

PS:  The Chiefs still suck

Free Agency Recap

Hi everyone,

Well, the magnificent clusterfuck that is the 2012 NFL free agency period is almost over, and I thought I would write up a recap for those who haven’t been able to keep up.  Obviously this will be from a fantasy perspective.

QB

Peyton Manning (Colts > Broncos):
This is the biggest news of the offseason.  The competition for the more generously forehead’ed Manning brother came down to the 49ers, the Broncos and the Titans, with the Tennessee legislature even passing a resolution asking Peyton to sign.  In the end Peyton chose the Broncos.  Apparently the prospect of throwing balls to Eric Decker and Demaryius Thomas was too much for Peyton to pass up.

Tim Tebow (Broncos > ??)
This…this is the very best of things.  News of Tim Tebow’s trade availability came quickly after the Manning announcement.  Current favorites to land the converted fullback include Jacksonville and Miami, probably on account of the fact that Tebow won a BCS Championship with the Florida Gators and is more popular than Jesus in that state.  I really hope Miami lands him, that city already has the worst fucking fanbase on earth, Tim Tebow is the quarterback they deserve.

Matt Flynn (Packers > Seahawks)
Aaron Rodgers’ backup last year on the Packers, Flynn famously threw 480 yards and 6 touchdowns against the Lions in week 17 of last year.  Adjusted for the Packers receiving corps, Mike McCarthy’s brilliant playcalling, and the fact that it was against the fucking Lions, it was around a 125 yard, 2 TD performance.  Seattle now has a QB controversy brewing between two NFC North castoff QB’s.

Robert Griffin III (Redskins):  The Redskins gave up a ton of picks to the Rams to move up to the second overall pick, where they are expected to select last year’s Heisman winner.  RG3 is a mobile, cannon-armed quarterback who almost went to law school instead of the NFL.  Think Vince Young but without a personality disorder.  Early Vince Young, his new shit is terrible.

Andrew Luck (Colts):  The Colts are pretty much guaranteed to select Andrew first overall.  If you’re unfamiliar with Luck, he’s a Harbaugh disciple from Stanford who is widely considered to be the most “pro-ready” NFL QB in a generation.  Just a reminder, QB’s who have been lauded as “most pro-ready” in the last few years: Blaine Gabbert, Jimmy Clausen, Brady Quinn.   The importance difference here is that Andrew Luck doesn’t fucking suck.  Reggie Wayne is returning to the Colts offense but that’s pretty much it (see below).

WR’s

Vincent Jackson (Chargers > Bucs)
Vjax was by far the most sought after WR this offseason, and he went where the money led him.  Jackson is a perfect fit for the Buccaneer’s “Lazy Asshole” team mentality.  Hopefully the new Bucs coaching staff will have better luck than the last in controlling the finest group of character-issues in the NFL.

Brandon Lloyd (Rams > Patriots)
Lloyd is exactly what the Patriots have been lacking since Randy Moss left: An actual deep threat.  Lloyd is terrific outside the numbers, has great hands, and isn’t functionally retarded.
This is a great signing for the Patriots.  Fuck the Patriots.

Brandon Marshall (Dolphins > Bears)
New Bears management reunited former teammates Jay Cutler and Marshall.  Marshall has a long rap-sheet, but is a great receiver when he isn’t dropping the hell out of the ball. Unfortunately he does this a lot.  He and Jay were very productive together in Denver.

Robert Meachem (Saints > Chargers)
The Chargers replaced Jackson with Meachem.  Robert spent the last couple years running clear-out fly routes in New Orleans for Colston, Sproles and Graham, which has earned him a reputation as only a “one route receiver”.  We’ll see if he can catch Philip Rivers jump balls as well as Vjax.  Meachem is joined by Eddie Royal, formerly of the Broncos.

Mario Manningham (Giants > 49ers)
Manningham gets hyped every fantasy offseason, and every year so far he’s been badly outplayed by his competition (see: NY Steve Smith, then Hakeem Nicks, then Victor Cruz).  Having Alex Smith throwing you the ball isn’t exactly a recipe for fantasy gold.

Randy Moss (Football purgatory >49ers)
I hate Randy Moss.  I feel privileged that my team will be the first to cut him in 2012.

Pierre Garcon (Colts > Redskins)
Garcon got 42 million from Daniel Snyder (aka Chainsaw Dan) to come catch RG3’s passes with former 49er Josh Morgan.  The fates of Santana Moss and Yo Jabba Jabba are uncertain.

Laurent Robinson (Cowboys > Jaguars)
Continuing the theme of over payed mediocre receivers, Robinson left the Cowboys for 32 million from the Jaguars.  I know Robinson had some great games with Romo last year, but let’s be clear: That was his only even decent year so far in the NFL.  And now he’s going to be catching passes from Blaine Gabbert (or Tim Tebow?)

Franchise and Re-Signed Players:
Desean Jackson
Marques Colston
Reggie Wayne
Dwayne Bowe
Wes Welker

RBs

Peyton Hillis (Browns > Chiefs)
The Chiefs brought in Hillis to spell and vulture TD’s from Jamaal Charles.  With a significant upgrade at RT(Eric Winston), the Chiefs running game could be pretty good this year.  Which is good because their QB is Matt Cassel.

Michael Bush (Raiders > Bears)
Seriously, someone sign Michael Bush, he’s really good. Edit: The Bears signed Bush to share carries/put pressure on a holding-out Matt Forte.  Bush should be a hell of a lot better than Marion Barber.

Mike “Eggman” Tolbert (Chargers > Panthers)
Tolbert joins a rushing touchdown crew that includes Cam Newton, Jonathan Stewart and DeAngelo Williams.  I’m not really quite sure why they signed him, apart from the dancing.

Re-Signed or Franchised
Arian Foster
Ray Rice
Matt Forte

TEs
No one really of note.  Jermichael Finley and Fred Davis both either signed or were tagged.  The Patriots signed another TE (Daniel Fells of the Broncos) because apparently they are just collecting them or something.  Broncos signed the ex-colt Tamme.

Have a good week everyone.